Go on and have your moan and your whinge,
about those kiddies who came out of your minge.
With their demanding and stropping all over the floor,
Tell me ‘are these the things we’re meant to adore?!’
Chocolate for breakfast is the question at hand,
Please answer ‘when do they start to understand?’
A screech from his mouth when a sock is on wrong,
You CANNOT go outside barefoot my son!!
Don’t run around the house whilst eating your lunch…
Oh now there’s sick on the carpet – thanks a bunch!
Please, darling stop tugging away at your willy,
I know you think you are funny and are silly,
But you will end up hurting yourself my dear,
It may even go out of shape over the years!
Yes you DO need to eat dinner tonight,
Could we go just one evening without a fight?!
Nuggets again with ketchup and chips,
I ain’t gonna win Mum of the year for this!!
Time for a bath and the washing of hair,
Calm down hunny, stop having a mare!
It’s only water- you splash happily in the pool,
This is exactly the same, it’s not worse at all?!
Time for the hairdryer, stop running away!
Why do you want to be naked most of the day?
Another battle with clothes, yes you MUST get dressed!
Please tell me it’s nearly time for a rest?
Hooray, the chores are done and the baby is clean,
Mummy is secretly pouring a large G and T!
Just as Daddy decides to walk in the door,
Now Mummy is sat, slumped on the floor!
‘Have you done much today?’ He starts to ask
‘Oh yes, love, let me list you my tasks’
From cleaning to hoovering and errands run,
to shopping and washing and making toddler fun.
I’ve dressed him, bathed him, changed several nappies,
The pets and child are fed and all are happy.
I have dealt with tantrums, demands and tears,
I may have lost my shit a couple of times my dear.
But you see I do all of these things every day,
I am Mum, wife and woman who cleans, cooks and plays
I juggle many things, it’s the ability of a Mother,
I sacrifice my needs for the those of another.
I do what I do for the love of my child,
I do all of this even though he drives me wild!
I may be stressed out and completely exhausted,
but he doesn’t notice this, it’s not what’s important.
He know’s I am here and that’s all that counts,
Even if sometimes I get angry and need to shout.
My hair may be messy, my skin may have new lines,
My clothes may be tatty and my forehead has a shine,
But the house is tidy, the child is still alive,
That my love certainly deserves a high five!
Now you are on duty, my shift is over,
I’m off with my drink to go lay on the sofa.
Just for one moment I sigh and relax,
Until I hear the scream ‘I want Mummy back!!!!’
I take one more sip and drag my butt to the hall,
I climb the stairs, exhausted, I try not to fall.
I enter his room to cuddle and rock,
To hear him quiet and settle and then look up,
At his Mum who makes everything all better again,
I look back down into his eyes, my love has no end.