I don’t know about the rest of you but since becoming a Mother I have somewhat felt that I have lost my identity. I have been slowly drowning in baby paraphernalia, baby feeding, caring, nappy changes, weaning, teething, baby sick and feeling exhausted. It’s probably easily done in the first year but I am 2 1/2 years on and my days have been spent wearing the same jeans several times a week, grabbing the first top I see in my wardrobe and not noticing how worn out most of my clothes actually look. My child, however, will usually be in new clothes (mostly coz he grows so fast), he will be in an outfit that definitely all goes together and one that is also bang on trend!
I think the loss of your identity can actually begin when you are pregnant. As our bellies grow we have to begin the hunt to find maternity wear which a) fits the size you are and b) is kinda your usual style. I mean, let’s face it, you don’t wanna spend a fortune on a whole new wardrobe, plus have you noticed how some items are suited to much bigger bumps and (my biggest issue) humongous boobs?!!.. Nope mine never came, sob. So it really was the case of going with what I could find and also use hand me downs from family and friends.
Once bubba arrives the clothing range seems to be limited even further if you breastfeed… I’m not sure why all the retailers think we wanna wear a basic t-shirt top but that is typically what is on offer. I literally had the smallest range of tops for feeding and yet I did it for 9 months!! This meant my normal clothes had to be worn at times and ended up being pulled about, stretched and stained. So I just felt like I spent the first year as a bit of a mess really.
Add in worn knees on all my trousers, baby blubber that won’t shift plus the tiredness and I have felt like Emma has vanished and Mum is well and truly here to replace her… permanently!
The normal me in old faded jeans and an old t-shirt. Comfy but drab!
After getting to grips with Instagram I was having a browse through the oh so perfect pictures, looking to see what people got up to (coz really that’s all we do nowadays isn’t it, be bit nosey!) and I kept seeing this woman standing against a wall in funny poses but whilst looking pretty damn fab. She seemed to have a big following and all her outfits were fun, bright and suited her – even with 2 kiddies in tow. Her name is Zoë and her site is ‘Dress like a Mum’. At first I was confused coz I thought ‘well, she looks nothing like a Mum. She’s not got greasy hair scraped back in a ponytail, she’s not in a boring stripey top, she’s not in old jeans and she doesn’t look washed out’. Then I looked into her and found that her page is all about inspiring us Mum’s to think about ourselves and what we wear. ‘Dress like a Mum’ is about dressing how you want to, making yourself confident again and thinking about you for once and not always your tiny people. This screamed out to me and, after weeks of looking at her pose against walls, looking so put together and even occasionally seeing the same outfit twice (she isn’t saying you need to be rich and spend a fortune) I thought do you know what, she’s bloody right. I am stuck in a rut, I look at clothes and think I can’t wear that I’m a Mum now, I can’t wear that coz I have a muffin top that I just can’t budge and I can’t spend money on me because my son is much more important. NO! Why do I need to put myself last just because I chose to become a Mother? Why can’t I still look good now I’m in my 30’s and even though I have new wobbles? I realised just how low my confidence had gone and that I kinda needed to re-discover who I was now.
I started by looking at a few different items online, ones that I would usually bypass and head straight for the plain vest tops instead. I didn’t want to spend much so checked out everything 5 pounds to begin with. Have you seen this site?! It takes a bit of trawling through and no not everything is as good as it looks on the screen but it’s definitely worth it for the price. I needed some holiday clothes and if they only last me this year, for that price who cares?! I got a fab new maxi dress,a short dress and even a tunic style dress – which immediately got a no from me until my hubby persuaded me to try and get used to it because it was nice to see me in something different – yep even my hubby knew I had to get out of my rut!
I have since been into town and tried my hardest to turn my head away from my Primark basics and to more clothes with patterns, funky shoes, pretty tops and things that will change this dull Mumma into a yummy Mummy… I hope!
I always talk about making time for ourselves by learning a new hobby, joining an exercise class or going for a beauty treatment but I had completely overlooked the power of dressing for a new you and how just by getting out of those drab, baby food stained clothes you can increase your confidence and feel so much better about yourself.
If you wanna check out ‘Dress Like a Mum’ you can find her on Instagram and facebook.
Good luck yummy Mummies!!