The step into Motherhood is an exciting one, it’s what you’ve been waiting for, for 9 long months but what happens when the baby arrives and it’s not all warm cuddles and a cute sleeping bubba? You may be able to relate to some of this…
“They sleep all day but are awake all night”
Babies don’t know the difference between night and day and my god do we realise this pretty quickly! If you’ve been up most of the night rocking and shushing and feeding you are not alone. Funny how they can sleep so well during the day isn’t it?! Getting a routine into place may be at the top of everyone else’s list– you know the ones who just love to give you ‘advice’– but it won’t last forever, you will find your own rhythm that will work for your family and you will not die from lack of sleep! Although, the latter may feel like it’s possible for a while.
“They cry, sometimes for no reason”
Babies cry, that is a fact and unfortunately some cry more than others. My first wasn’t much of a crier. He would maybe grumble a bit for a feed but I never understood those other Mums who would tell me they had been pacing the floor all day and night with their unsettled baby. I am now in this world. I have a new baby with colic… oh my word, there is nothing worse than having a baby in discomfort that you can’t help with. You can try, but so far I haven’t found much that works, apart from holding him for hours on end! The best piece of advice I was given was when it’s all getting too much just place the baby down in his cot/Moses basket and go and have a breather. The baby won’t die from being put down for a bit to cry rather than being in your arms and crying and you need to de-stress and have a clear mind.
“I can’t get anything done!”
Nope, and you won’t for a long time so you need to get used to this! Every time you go to do something your baby will want a change or a feed or a change again or another feed… especially when those growth spurts hit! Your house may begin to vanish under the piles of washing, the toys all over the floor and dirty nappies filling up all the bins and if you’re anything like me this will drive you nuts but getting stressed over it doesn’t work (I’ve tried) and unless you can afford a cleaner (I wish!) you just need to take in a deep breath and accept that this is now how your home will look… for years… and then you will add more children and it will get worse, sorry, just saying.
“Sometimes I just want to cry”
Go for it! There is no shame in having a cry. You are exhausted, you are probably highly hormonal, you will be juggling far too much and you are not superwoman (even though you think you have to be).
“My hair is greasy and my clothes are caked in sick”
It’s a look, isn’t it?! Dry shampoo will become your best friend and don’t worry about the sick, we are all wearing that brand of eau de parfum! Mum life may not be as glamorous as your previous life but you have something so much better in its place.
“My shower consists of me jumping in and out to check the baby is OK”
You aren’t the only one. There are no longer relaxed bathing times for you just be happy that you can dance around under the water for a bit to wash off the baby sick! A quick shower and hair wash is now your biggest achievement for the day annnnnd think of the jumping in and out of it as your workout!
“What day is it?…”
Baby brain? Yeah, get used to that one too. Lack of sleep, lack of routine and feral hormones mean that you probably won’t remember what day it is (and forget about dates!) for about a year. Get used to checking your phone for this. A. Lot.
“I feel so alone”
This can be the worst feeling as a new Mum. It may seem as though you’ve been thrown into this new world and your old life has been left behind. Friends without children don’t contact you anymore, you aren’t back at work for a year, you don’t have friends with a new baby…
Baby groups are there mainly for this reason. Yes, you may have to pluck up some courage to go to one because lets face it, it can be daunting doing something new like this, but as soon as you get to one you’ll find it so much easier to start finding others. Go out and find your girl tribe!
“Everyone else has it all together”
They don’t. Ever heard the saying ‘everyone loses their shit, just some are better at hiding it than others’? Remember that, it’s true!
You’ve got this new Mama and you are not alone