I thought my first child was a sleep thief but the latest addition to our family really, really doesn’t want me to close my eyes at night! Sleep deprivation has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning and I’m living life through blurry-visioned eyes each day. We’ve all done and said daft things when we are tired beyond words and here are a few of the classic signs that you’re a sleep deprived parent!
1. The absolute struggle to string a sentence together or pronounce certain words. Your vocab(ulary) goes back to basics or to abbreviations.
2. Putting the milk away in the cereal cupboard and the cereal in the fridge. Makes life interesting when you come to make your next cuppa!
3. Waking in the night freaking out because the baby isn’t in his Moses basket. Yeah, that’s because he is still feeding on your breast and you had in fact only closed your eyes for a minute.
4. Talking to yourself because you can’t make a simple decision and there is no one else around to ask… saying it out loud makes it real yeah?!
5. Sugar becomes a staple of your diet, ok I mean chocolate, lots of chocolate and when I say staple I mean the only thing you eat for your breakfast and for lunch.
6. Waking in the night to go to the toilet and wondering what is next to the bed in your way… oh yeah, we brought a baby home!
7. Forgetting to put your boob away after a feed… double-check this before people come to visit!!
8. Saying the words in your sentence in the wrong order and taking three more attempts to actually get it right. Notice how other sleep-deprived parents understand you the first time though.
9. Not caring or not noticing how much baby sick is on your clothes nowadays.
10. Your eyebrows have a life of their own but you can’t focus on yourself in the mirror for long enough to notice.
11. Phoning the dentist/doctor to make an appointment but forget who it is you are calling whilst the phone rings… start again, urgh.
12. Spending most of the day staring aimlessly into space– most probably reminiscing about the time when you weren’t tired.
13. Leaving the washing in the washing machine for a day or so meaning you have to wash it all again only to forget it again and the cycle goes on! (yep, bad pun there too!)
14. Being so tired at 3am that you want to cry but you are too tired to even produce tears so you just end up sitting there making some strange wailing noises with your husband looking at you and wondering if you have finally gone completely insane.
15. Ensuring that you tell everybody that you meet that you are tired and repeating this 156 times just to make sure they fully understand precisely how tired you are.
16. Loading the dishwasher, putting the tablet in and then forgetting to turn the damn thing on.
17. Letting the dog out for a wee then half an hour later you’re wondering where the dog is.
18. Talking to your partner with grunts and one-liners because you don’t have the energy to muster up a full conversation.
19. Texting other people at 2am because it is now the norm to be awake and surely others see that hour too, yeah?!
20. Walking into a room and forgetting why (x25).
21. Rocking from side to side when you are holding anything at all in your arms. You know you are extremely sleep deprived when you start tapping its ‘bum’ whilst making shushing sounds.
Now is it time for bed?…
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