8 Things to Consider for Your Kids After Separating

cut up marriage certificate
*Collaborative Post

Separating from a spouse is a challenging process, especially when children are involved. If you are dealing with the emotional fall-out from a marital breakup, you are likely to have the well-being and stability of your children at the forefront of your mind. If you are wondering how best you can protect them through the process of separation and divorce, here are eight key things to consider.

Custody arrangements

When considering custody arrangements, it’s important to prioritise your children’s best interests, including their emotional well-being, stability, and safety. Consider a flexible arrangement that allows for meaningful contact with both parents, if safe and appropriate. Factor in each parent’s living situation, work schedule, and ability to meet your children’s needs. Open, respectful communication and willingness to compromise with your ex-spouse can facilitate smoother transitions for your children. Legal advice is invaluable to understand rights and obligations, ensuring the agreement is fair and in compliance with family law.

Emotional support

It’s vital to maintain open and honest communication with your children, encouraging them to express their feelings. Listening actively and validating their emotions can help them feel understood and secure. Consistency in daily routines and caregiving provides stability. It may be beneficial to involve a child psychologist or counsellor for professional support, especially if your children show any signs of distress. Engaging in quality time and activities they enjoy can also strengthen your bond and help them adjust to the changes in their family structure.

Financial support

Separating from your spouse will inevitably lead to changes in daily living expenses as well as the need to maintain costs relating to education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities. Consulting with a solicitor will help you to understand your legal obligations and rights concerning child support. Budgeting becomes crucial, accounting for your income and the children’s needs to ensure stability. Consider establishing a financial agreement or court order that clearly outlines the responsibilities of each parent. It’s also important to plan for your children’s future needs, including savings for education. Regular reviews of financial arrangements ensure they remain fair and responsive to changing circumstances.

Education and social life

Ensuring children’s academic needs are met and they maintain healthy friendships is extremely important following a family breakup. Stay involved in their schooling by communicating with teachers and being aware of their academic progress and social interactions. Support their participation in extracurricular activities to foster skills and friendships. A stable home environment and routine can significantly impact their ability to focus on studies and enjoy social activities, so strive to provide consistency and support during this transitional period.


Ensure your children have regular access to medical, dental, and mental health services. Understand how healthcare coverage is affected by the separation, including which parent’s insurance will cover the children and how out-of-pocket costs will be managed. It’s important to keep up with routine check-ups, vaccinations, and any ongoing treatments.

Safety and protection

It’s important to evaluate your children’s physical and emotional safety in both homes. If there’s a history of domestic violence or abuse, take immediate steps to secure a safe environment, which may include obtaining restraining orders and seeking support from domestic violence services. Ensure that your children know how to contact emergency services and trusted adults. Online safety is also crucial; monitor and guide their internet use to protect them from cyberbullying and inappropriate content. Regularly discuss safety measures, respecting their privacy while ensuring they understand how to stay safe both online and offline.


In co-parenting, the key is to maintain a respectful and cooperative relationship with your ex-spouse, focusing on the well-being of your children. Communication is crucial; establish clear and consistent methods for discussing your children’s needs, schedules, and any issues that arise. Setting aside personal differences and working towards compromise benefits your children’s emotional health. Consider drafting a co-parenting plan that outlines routines, responsibilities, and how decisions will be made. Flexibility, patience, and a commitment to put your children’s interests first are essential for successful co-parenting. Engaging in counselling or mediation can also support a positive co-parenting relationship.


Last, but not least, don’t forget to prioritise your physical and emotional well-being to ensure you can be there for your children. This includes maintaining a healthy lifestyle with proper nutrition, exercise, and sufficient sleep. Allocate time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax and recharge. Don’t hesitate to seek emotional support from friends, family, or professionals to navigate your feelings and stress. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help with childcare to give yourself a break. Practicing mindfulness or stress-reduction techniques can also be beneficial. Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for being a supportive and present parent.

*This is a collaborative post. For further information please refer to my disclosure page.

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