5 Things You Can Guarantee Will Happen At Soft Play

soft play balls with the words 5 things you can guarantee will happen at soft play

I haven’t written a soft play post for a bit (because I really do hate the places) but I did actually drag myself to one the other week to give William a bit of a treat as he usually has pretty dull days in comparison to what Jake used to have with me at that age (damn you school runs!)

However, as soon as I stepped in the door I regretted it as we all know what things happen at softplay…


The Rides and Arcade Games

Why? Why do soft play places insist on having these in here? I pay for them to use the soft play area not spend the entire time dragging them away from the sodding Peppa Pig car and making excuses as to why I’m not paying for them to ride in it over and over and over. Oh and don’t get me started on the plastic crap you get inside those balls. £1 for whaaat? A sticky, stretchy skeleton, a bouncy ball, a car I have to put together. No, no, no. I am there for them to burn off their energy on the equipment.


The Snot Dripping Child

There is always one, at least, if not several and they are always the ones who are left unattended with no nose wiper in sight, aren’t they? They sit there dripping their germs all over the place and are usually the ones chewing away on the plastic balls in the ball pit. Urgh, this is why we get sick nearly every time we visit one! Why do parents take their children to soft play when they are like this? They know how gross it is to have a child full of snot and they know how tough it can be so why do they feel the need to inflict this pain on others?! Pass the bucket, bleurghhhh.


Bigger Kids In The Baby Area

Urgh, this is such a bugbear of mine. If I take my smaller child into the bigger area and he gets knocked about then fine, that’s on me for taking him in there but when there are bigger kids tearing about the baby area, throwing soft play cushions, throwing balls, wrestling one another without a care for the teeny tots toddling around them, that’s when I get really annoyed. And can you ever locate the parent? Nope, course not, coz they are far too busy sipping their hot tea and browsing Facebook. They’ve done their toddler time and are now rewarding themselves whilst the next generation of parents battle on. Yeah, thanks!


Jake and William in a ball pit



In some soft places it is just everywhere, isn’t it? Some kids take it into the play area even though they aren’t meant to, little kids are wandering about dropping their crumbs all over the place for you to walk through and then there are the kids who are allowed the treats and the good stuff and if William spots them, he’s off to challenge them for it!! You’d think I didn’t feed him!


Someone Nearly Always Gets Hurt

And it isn’t always the kid now is it, Mums?!! How many times have you banged your head, burnt your arm or back on the slide, been bashed over the head by a soft cushion or a plastic ball in the eye? I know I have! As for the kiddies, someone is always knocking them over, running into them, they often bang heads and tears are a typical scene each time you go.



Whyyyy do we do it to ourselves, eh?

Do you like soft play? If so, I’d love to know why! Also, what’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you at soft play?

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