“But What Do You Do All Day?!…” And Other Delightful Comments Ever Made To A Stay At Home Mum

Stay at home mum with baby looking through a book

The day I became a Mum everything changed. My world now revolved a teeny tiny person who relied on me 24/7, my priorities completely shifted and my feelings were far stronger than I ever could have imagined. When the time came to return to work I was in a bit of a state. I remember sitting on the sofa completely calm one minute and hyperventilating the next. I just didn’t want to leave him… I couldn’t.

I had worked so hard to get into the job role I was on maternity from and I thought I would return and have it all, the career, the social life, the independence and the motherhood but I hadn’t banked on what those hormones and instinct would do to your mind. There was no doubt in my mind, I had to be a stay at home Mum.

Five years on and I know it was the best decision not only for myself but for all of us as a family and do you know what? I have loved it! So, when comments are made to my face regarding this choice not only does it often throw me, it is also incredibly rude and at times hurtful. I know I am not alone in this problem so I spoke to other stay at home Mums to see what other delightful comments have been received and it seems as though we all have a lot in common.


But What Do You Do All Day?!… 

I had to start with the classic.

What do us stay at home Mums do all day? Anything! Everything! The possibilities for the day are pretty much endless. When you have your first child you aren’t tied to the clock because of school runs so the day is all yours. Long walks, visits to country parks, shopping trips, a drive down to the coast, meeting friends, going to baby groups, a day of baking, a day of playing or crafts, dog walks… Honestly, we used to do it all.

I’m not really sure what some people expect in response? Oh, I sit and watch daytime TV all day, I just clean the house, I stay in all day, maybe? The thing is, the choice is yours, you can fill your time however you wish.

Yes, things have changed for me this time around because my eldest is now at school but I still fit in groups, swimming, meeting up with friends, do mornings out instead of full days and I still bloody love it!!


But Aren’t You Bored?!…

Well, don’t you get bored at times? I know I certainly did at work and being at home with the kids is no different. Some days are amazing and fun and fly by and others are filled with chores and appointments and just drag. That’s life!


So, Do You Just Watch TV All Day?…

Even if you do, so what? Maybe you enjoy watching TV all day? What’s it to anybody else?! There are days where we just love to veg out and not get dressed and watch Disney films back to back.


Do You Just Clean All Day?…

Not all day, but yes, cleaning is a big part of being a stay at home Mum because we make more mess as we are there more but I think most of us just see it as part of the ‘job’.


Don’t You Miss Adult Conversation?…

It’s OK, I do actually leave the house and can still manage to hold a conversation with other grown-up type people! There are adults working in shops, adults at baby groups or soft play, adults running baby classes and I do still have adult friends.


I Don’t Know How You Afford It…

That’s ok because it’s none of your business anyway!


Isn’t It Weird Taking Money From Your Husband?…

Um, no, because he is my husband, these are his kids and we both do our bit (nosy!)


Don’t You Think Your Career Will Just Pass You By?…

Personally, it hasn’t really crossed my mind. I’m more about the here and now and right now I need to be doing this. Some of us may miss the roles involved in work but the pull to be at home is far stronger for me. Jobs can come and go and life can always take a different path for a while.


But You’ll Go Back To Work Once The Kids Go To School, Yeah?…

Again, who knows? Maybe, maybe not. There is still plenty to do when the kids are at school and then there are the school runs and after-school clubs. It won’t mean I will suddenly be putting my feet up and watching chick flicks all day! But there are definitely better ways to word this question.


I Don’t Know How You Do It, I Could Never Stay At Home All Day With My Kids…

That’s fine, no one is saying you have to. This is how some of us choose to live and other parents work. Each to their own.


And that’s the final point really, I don’t judge anybody for the way they live their lives, I mean how rude would it sound if I took these questions and altered them to a query a full-time working parent? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to disclose how much you earn, what you get up to each day or whether you find it all terribly boring? So, maybe just think before you turn your nose up (yes, that really did happen to me!)

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