How I Helped My Child Handle Big Emotions (And What I Wish I Knew Sooner)

Guest Post written by Courage Tales Team

There’s a moment many of us face as parents. Your child is overwhelmed, maybe angry, maybe crying, and you’re doing your best to stay calm, but inside you’re thinking: I don’t know what to do.

That was me, more times than I can count.

I used to believe that parenting meant fixing things. If my son was upset, I’d try to distract him, calm him down, or solve the problem fast. I thought that was being supportive. But what I’ve learned since then is that our kids don’t need us to fix their emotions, they need us to understand them, and then gently guide them toward solving problems on their own, not solve everything for them.

The turning point for me came when I started learning about empathy, not just as a vague idea, but as a real, teachable skill. I realized that when I was too quick to brush away big feelings (“You’re okay,” “It’s not a big deal”), I was sending the message that emotions weren’t welcome. And then I wondered why he kept bottling things up or exploding without warning.

So I tried something different: I slowed down. I started naming emotions out loud, his and mine.

The hardest part, though, wasn’t changing things for my son. It was changing them for myself and my husband. We’re the type who like structure, who naturally give orders and want things done a certain way. Letting go of that took time. But we realized that when you micromanage your kids too much, they stop thinking for themselves. They give away their decision-making and start waiting for you to solve everything. And we want them to grow confident, capable, and emotionally strong, when we cannot be there for them. 

For children who are neurodivergent who carry extra emotional weight this kind of support can make a massive difference.

Over time, these little efforts turned into something bigger. I ended up creating a resource for other families like ours: The Empathy Heroes Class. It’s a virtual experience for kids aged 5–11 that uses storytelling, music, and simple activities to help children understand their emotions and the feelings of others. I designed it to be parent-friendly too.

You can take a look here if you’re curious:
👉 www.couragetales.com/the-ultimate-empathy-lesson

But even if that’s not your thing, here’s what I want to say:
Empathy isn’t soft. It’s powerful. It’s what helps our kids become strong from the inside out. And you don’t need to be a therapist or expert to model it. You just need to show up, be real, and make space for emotions.

If no one has reminded you lately, you’re doing an amazing job. And your child is lucky to have someone who cares enough to teach them not just what to do, but how to feel.

*This is a collaborative post. For further information please refer to my disclosure page.

Pin for later: