A Day as a Toddler

Imagine your how your day would go if you acted it out as a toddler. I watch my son every day and am drawn into his world of innocence, cheekiness, fun and drama and I just wonder how much more enjoyment adults would get if it was ‘acceptable’ to behave differently. This is how I imagine my day would go:

Alarm doesn’t have the chance to go off because as soon as 5:20 am hits my body wakes and I sit bolt upright. I turn to my hubby, jump on his head and start smacking his cheek.

‘Get up, get up, morning now. I need my toast!’

My brekkie gets served to me and I watch my programmes without a care in the world.

My sister visits and I greet her with a smack on the bum and mess up her hair – she loves it really! We go out to the shops and I find myself staring at random people until they give me eye contact. Some I smile at and others I decide to wave at as they seem very nice indeed. I feel like I want everything I see but when I look at one price tag and realise I cannot afford it I throw myself down on the ground and thrash about whilst sobbing. 30 seconds later I am over it and decide I need a snack. I scream at my sister ‘chocolate right now!’ People begin to stare, but I don’t care because I just want my chocolate sooooo bad!!! Once I get my snack I am much happier and begin to chatter away to other people sat in the cafe. It’s so nice to be friendly and make other people laugh.

I then run up and down the shopping centre, giggling my head off until I hear an adult mutter ‘for fuck’s sake’ under their breath. Hmm I think I will try that ‘fuck’s sake, fuck’s sake, fuck’s sake’ I say really loudly, with my sister is shusshing me!

She takes us both to the public toilets and during my wee, I feel the urge to let her know. So at the top of my voice, I shout out ‘having a weeeeee!!!!’ It’s very important to share everything I believe.

After our trip to town, I get served my lunch and run about whilst picking at the bits I actually want. I decide that I want to watch ‘Frozen’ yet again and fast forward it to ‘let it go’. I grab the Xbox microphone and sing at the top of voice not caring who can hear me. My sister joins in but I think it is much more fun to bash her in the chest and shout boobies at her!!!

I then get really over-excited when my Dad walks in the door but instead of just saying hi I run about the house, hide behind the curtain, jump out again and am grinning with joy. I jump on him and honk his nose, ‘Honk, Honk!!’

An afternoon of playing and talking starts to wear me out and I feel a little teary. I throw myself on the floor because I am hungry. Luckily my tea gets served to me and afterwards a yummy pudding. Hubby comes home and I begin to shriek and yell ‘yay, hubby’. I hit him on the legs and run away. Then run back hug him really tightly but then whack him in the face just for fun!

As it’s almost time for bed we have chill-out time in front of the telly and I natter on telling him everything that is happening and get excited at the best bits by jumping up and down on the sofa. Hubby tells me I am tired and I need to go to bed. Being cuddled and tucked into bed is lovely. I try to fight him a bit because I wanna stay up but it doesn’t work. I quickly go fast asleep cuddling my soft toy.

Bliss