A Parent’s Choice: Why We Are Finding Out The Sex of Our Baby

finding out the sex of the baby

We are coming up to our 20-week scan and the question on everyone’s lips is ″are you going to find out the sex of the baby?″ The thing I find most hilarious are the gasps when I reveal that we are.  And then the responses:

″But don’t you want the surprise?″ 

″Don’t you think it is more special to wait?″

″Don’t you think the not knowing drives you on in labour?″

″In my day you didn’t find out, you didn’t get the choice.″


Nope, nope, nope and but we do have the choice now. Yes, I am very impatient, I have waited 20 weeks to know and I can’t be expected to wait another 20. I am also a very organised person and to find out means that I can prepare everything that we need and do the nursery. But it’s a funny topic, isn’t it? Everyone seems to have an opinion yet the only people who are directly affected are the parents.

I remember when we found out with Jake and I was way more impatient back then to know. I had work colleagues who were just flabbergasted that I knew, that I couldn’t wait for the surprise and didn’t I know that waiting until I pushed the baby out was part of the miracle of it all? Blah, blah, blah… see questions from above. Yet I would never stand there and judge them so why did they feel they could openly judge me four years ago?

It may just seem as though I am just too impatient but there are other aspects too. I think that knowing the sex helps me to create the bond between myself and who I am carrying. I had the chance to relate to him as ‘he’, I had plenty of time to think of a name (although that was a tricky one even knowing that he was boy!), I could purchase clothes and nursery items without having to always go neutral and it personally helped my mind focus on the pregnancy and my son. I understand that not everybody needs this in their life but this is why it is a personal choice and why the only ones who should have a say are the parents to be. 

Oh, I am also not a fan of all the guessing… using the wedding ring, you’re carrying high/low/outwards, turn around and if I can’t tell you’re pregnant it’s a boy and so on. How about we just find out for sure?! hahaha

I didn’t enjoy being told how I should have waited by work mates, I didn’t enjoy being made to feel small… because that is exactly how I did feel. I wanted to celebrate that he was a boy and I wanted others to accept our decision. 


I must admit that this time around it hasn’t felt quite so urgent but I think this may be because we already know what to expect from a newborn. However, we have both decided that come Wednesday, if it is clear enough to tell, we want to find out again. I am dying to get into that nursery and begin my big plans!


But rest assured that the one thing you won’t be getting from me is a big cheesy gender reveal!


What are your views? Did you find out? Would you do so again?

Em xx

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