Do I Have to Go to Mediation Before Divorce?

*Collaborative Post

The process of divorce is filled with strong emotions. Individuals involved must skillfully navigate the legal processes and discussions to safeguard their interests while managing their emotions effectively.

Mediation has become increasingly popular as an alternative method for resolving divorce conflicts. This approach can assist couples in moving through their divorce proceedings with reduced conflict, aiming to achieve mutually beneficial solutions to specific issues. Despite most state laws not mandating mediation, numerous states mandate that couples partake in mediation sessions before resorting to court actions.

What is Mediation?

Mediation serves as a conflict resolution method in which a neutral third party, known as the Mediator, aids multiple parties involved in family law issues (often parents or ex-partners) embroiled in disputes concerning parenting, assets, child support, or alimony to reach a shared resolution that settles their conflicts.

Depending on the circumstances, mediation may involve both parties supported by their legal representatives alongside the Mediator, or solely the disputants with the Mediator present, particularly when they lack legal counsel or opt for a lawyer-free session. You always have the option for attorneys specializing in divorce mediation to represent you should you choose. Here are steps to take before mediation.

Maintain an Open Mindset and Listen Attentively

Ensuring a favorable outcome in mediation is always the goal. While this advice pertains to actions during mediation, it’s wise to consider it in advance. Your partner might express hurtful, false, or unhelpful remarks during the process. Trust in your mediator’s ability to discern unreasonable demands. When tensions rise, take a moment to breathe deeply. Engage in attentive listening without interruptions or confrontations.

Effective listening by both parties in mediation sustains productive settlement dialogues. It can be advantageous to show empathy towards your former partner, even amidst disagreements. Demonstrating understanding may encourage greater cooperation from them. Practice these communication techniques beforehand to make them natural during mediation.

Collect Your Financial Details

Start assembling your financial records if you have access to them. Being well-prepared for mediation requires a clear grasp of your assets and their acquisition timeline. For instance, if both of you bought a house, but your grandmother provided the down payment, you may need to seek reimbursement for that amount. It is crucial to provide documentation or other financial records to substantiate your claim.

It’s common for individuals to have fuzzy recollections when faced with facts that may have financial implications. Ideally, you and your spouse will collaborate to gather the necessary documents.

Consider Legal Coaching

Some individuals opt to enlist the services of a legal coach in the mediation process. Distinct from an attorney who advocates in court, a legal coach acts as a consultant, aiding in comprehending one’s rights, navigating legal procedures, and anticipating future developments.

A proficient legal coach possesses a deep understanding of mediation and may even have experience as a mediator. Specializing in divorce law, they offer guidance, set expectations, explain processes, address your objectives and concerns, assist in crafting strategies for mediation, and help you prepare for various scenarios.

Consult with a legal coach one to three times before initiating mediation. Your legal coach should also review the drafted settlement agreement before its finalization. Note that mediators remain neutral and clearly outline your preferences in the agreement. For instance, neglecting to specify a termination date for spousal support payments could lead to unforeseen financial implications. Ensure that the agreement explicitly states the end date for support to avoid misunderstandings.

Endnote

If you or your partner are finding it challenging to accept your divorce or require a practical resolution to facilitate agreement or settle conflicts, counseling or mediation may be the suitable path for you.

*This is a collaborative post. For further information please refer to my disclosure page.