How I’ve Been Looking After Me During Perimenopause

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It’s no secret that I am in my 40’s and it’s certainly no secret that I have been suffering from perimenopausal symptoms for around six years now. It started slowly, a little lost temper that grew into something I couldn’t get a grasp on, a few hot sweats at night that became unbearable by this year. Brain fog, which I thought was depression (as did a doctor), but when antidepressants didn’t do a thing, I realised there was more to it; and I wasn’t actually losing my mind (which had crossed my mind many a time). Then eventually I began to notice a change in me. I wasn’t me. I didn’t know who I was but I felt I was morphing into something I didn’t like or recognise. I had no zest for life, no energy; I lacked confidence, I didn’t care about looking after myself. I was waking at night at 3 am and sometimes 5 am like clockwork and struggling to go back to sleep which was having a knock-on effect on the symptoms I just covered. My skin looked lacklustre, my once greasy hair was now dry and brittle, weight was creeping on, I had on-off anxiety, muscle was deteriorating, my ears were itchy, random new black hairs would appear on my body, I couldn’t focus on work, I was utterly drained and I spent months trying to get an appointment with a doctor to tell them “I NEED HRT!” Why do they make it so hard?

I was eventually seen. I sat in front of her in a state and rambled on about all of my issues. Thankfully, she didn’t need to do any tests – I was THAT obviously perimenopausal!! I am now around 3 months into being on HRT and I wanted to document this journey a little to help others and also share what else I am doing to help myself during this new transition of life.

HRT – Giving Some Sanity Back!

If you think you are going through perimenopause and aren’t coping with any natural remedies (magnesium, perimenopause vitamins, exercise etc) then get yourself to the doctor. Don’t listen to others who may be saying, “Oh, you’re too young” No, no, you are not! Like many medical issues women can experience, perimenopause doesn’t yet have enough research but it’s getting there thanks to awareness, social media and women pushing for more answers and help. So, you do the same, push!! You aren’t losing your marbles, your oestrogen is dropping significantly and your body is reacting to that. I can hand on heart say I wish I had gone a year earlier. I suffered through because of the myths I had heard about HRT, because I thought I was too young and because I thought medication wasn’t the answer. I was wrong. HRT has given me back so much. I sleep for starters!! Sleep makes such a difference to your everyday life. I have had zero night sweats since starting on it. I have more energy due to both of these but I think also because I am no longer fighting with my brain and emotions all day long. My brain fog has gone, I can think clearly, I can work more efficiently and I can be more present with my children. The changes happened within my first week and even though I have had a few downs over the last few weeks (stress of a house move may have been a big contributor to that), I am sitting here now writing this feeling positive, happy and more like the old me.

I just wanted to add that obviously, not everyone can take HRT for whatever reason and I was almost denied it due to losing my Mum to breast cancer. However, I gave a full, detailed family history (cancer doesn’t run in my family on either side) and I now have to go for annual mammograms until I am 50 to ensure the HRT isn’t having unwanted side effects. I have had my first one and can happily report that I got the all clear. So, there are ways in which the doctors could move forward for you but if they cannot prescribe it, do ask them how else they can help you.

Getting Back to Exercise

I’ve always enjoyed exercising but perimenopause seemed to change that. I didn’t have the drive to do it, I noticed I ached much more if I did move my body, lack of sleep meant I had no energy to join a gym/class and I felt like this was it, I was old, I wasn’t meant to be doing much now (insane, I know but those hormones mess with the way you think). In the wait for my HRT appointment, I found a little spark within me, I think it was the idea that change may be coming and that drove me to be brave and sign up for a trial week at an all women gym. I was so nervous but I knew I had to do something, I had read about muscle deterioration, osteoporosis, weakness as we age and how lifting weights is beneficial so I pushed those nerves to one side, went to the gym, loved it, signed up for 6 months and here I am several months later already feeling stronger. It isn’t about losing weight, it’s about feeling strong, able, less achy and preventing issues in the future.

Find out more about The Barbelle Club on their website here.

Supplements and Vitamins

Creatine

I heard about creatine helping with muscle repair after exercise but when I looked into it further I found that it can also reduce fatigue, improve brain function, preserve muscle that we lose through the decline of oestrogen and stabilise mood swings. How amazing is that? Creatine is literally THE supplement all perimenopausal women should be taking. I started on it as soon as I began at the gym and I have really noticed a difference in all of these areas. I take the Ancient and Brave True Creatine+ powder which I mix into a drink every morning. I like this brand because they are a women built company, B Corp Certified, they donate 1% of their profits to causes to help the planet, their jars are refillable and this particular product is Vegan.

Vitamin D

I also take Vitamin D (which everyone should take anyway) but for perimenopausal women it has huge benefits as a deficiency in this vitamin is very common. Vitamin D helps our bodies to absorb calcium, which in turn protects against bone density loss and osteoporosis (that is coming up a lot, isn’t it?!) It also aids in fighting fatigue and supporting immunity. I’ve personally found that it helps with the condition of my hair and skin too.

Iron

Iron levels can also decrease during perimenopause – we are so lucky to get ALL these problems… Sigh – so taking a vitamin tablet can help to combat brain fog, fatigue and low mood.

Magnesium

Magnesium is often talked about when it comes to perimenopausal symptoms as it has been proven to help with a better nights’ sleep, fatigue, mood swings and bone health. I was using it a few years ago and didn’t see any improvement in my sleep but it’s fairly obvious now that that is because I needed the actual drugs!! I was too far gone! Anyway, I am back to taking magnesium again to work alongside everything else I am doing and I get mine from Ancient and Brave too as they are recommended by the queen of menopause talk, Davina McCall. Also, if you can get her book, I can highly recommend it. I found mine on Vinted.

Keeping My Brain Active

Keeping your brain active when all it seems to want to do is switch off, is a task for sure but if you can find a hobby that makes you happy, keeps you learning, keeps all cylinders firing, you will be helping it out for the future. I decided at the age of 43, to take up the cello. It was something I had always wanted to try and I needed a new challenge… It’s certainly been that! I love going to lessons, being a student again, testing myself and making my brain work a bit harder. An instrument isn’t for everyone but you could choose to read more books, take up puzzling or colouring in. Art is a good option as it is not only great for concentration but also for relaxation. Find something that will fit in with your lifestyle and your personality.

Nature is Healing

Always has been, always will be. For me, being outside, listening to the birds, admiring the countryside or a garden is all healing both mentally and emotionally. It has helped me immensely when I feel overwhelmed, when anxiety creeps in (which I didn’t have before my hormones went haywire) and when I need to quiet my brain. Going for a long dog walk, heading to the beach or taking time out in the garden all helps to wash all those negative feelings away and seems to just reset my mind.

Top tip: get the Merlin Bird App because now you’re perimenopausal, identifying birds is really fun!

Hair and Skincare

Hair

So, my hair has taken a battering during this period and even after a lot of good cuts, trying a leave in conditioner and not washing it as often, the ends are still very dry and brittle. I usually use Lush shampoo and conditioner bars (for the zero waste side) and have got on well with these up until now but I needed to make a change that would work for my hair – before I damage it even further by ignoring the issue. So, just this week I have purchased the Super Nutrient Haircare set from the sustainable brand The Cornish Seaweed Bath Co. They state that this is ideal for thinning and perimenopausal hair and that their combination of organic Seaweed, Tuber Fleeceflower Root, Angelica Sinensis Root, Frankincense & Mint Leaf will leave your hair soft, shiny, thicker and nourished. I am only two washes in but I can already say that my hair is much softer and silkier than before. Fingerscrossed this works long term for me. I will keep you all posted either on my social media or in a future review.

Skin

As I mentioned above, my skin has been really lacklustre lately and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was recently asked to try out Exo-PDRN Prismatic+ Youthful Vitality Serum by Medik8 to see if it could make a difference. I am always quite dubious about skincare that claims to do so much for you but I was very quickly surprised by the results. After just 3 weeks of use I noticed that my skin was smoother, no longer puffy, it seemed to tighten my pores and my makeup would glide straight on. I accidentally stopped using it during the stress of moving (things just got a bit too much and looking after me was what slipped) and I looked in the mirror the other day and couldn’t get over the dull, puffy face that was looking back at me. I decided to start up with the serum again and I’m so glad I did; what a difference already.

I still use a moisturiser over the top of this as my skin tone has really changed from oily to quite dry in places and I am considering trying out some of their other products to work hand in hand with this. I like the look of their Vitamin C Gel serum called C-Tetra® Advanced. You can read my full review of the Vitality Serum here.

Being Kinder to Myself

I’ve always been quite harsh on myself. I’ve pushed myself to do better at work, to always go for more. I’ve criticised myself internally over almost everything and probably put unnecessary pressure on myself. When you get older you slow, things tire you faster and that’s something I have definitely struggled with but I have had to decide to work on accepting that things are changing, that everything now works a little differently but that doesn’t mean I need to get annoyed with myself. I just need to be kinder to me, enjoy myself as and when I can and do all of these little things to help my poor perimenopausal body and mind get through this period of my life.

If you are also at this stage and struggling, I hope these tips help and all I can say is you are not alone and please do look into all the symptoms that perimenopause can bring and do speak to your doctor.

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