nicu journey week three

Our NICU Journey- Week Three (part one)

Another week, more hospital NICU visits to come and I begin to notice the toll it’s having on all of us. The tiredness, the worry, the stress, the juggling of normal life with hospital life. You can only fully understand all of this if you have been in the same position, it’s a whole other world. Having Jake around is a lovely distraction from the seriousness of it all but trying to balance his needs with yours is a skill I am only just about managing.

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our nicu journey

Our NICU Journey- Week One

So, you arrived early. I expected it, I just knew my body hadn’t felt right, I’d been saying this since week 24 and after my waters broke early I mentally prepared myself for your premature entrance into the world. We had the tour of Neonatal during my first hospital stay… it took me aback. We were shown the incubators and told that was where you would go straight after birth if you came early, it took all my strength not to cry. As a blogger, I have read many stories from others I follow of their premature babies being in NICU and I have been moved by what has been written but nothing can prepare you for for the reality of it all. To see tiny babies lying inside what is essentially a plastic box, being helped with their breathing via ventilators or under UV lights for jaundice is something that makes your heart sink. We were shown the two types of ventilators and the nurse explained why you may be on them and how they work… I couldn’t really take that information in because I didn’t want to picture you on one. We were told how the unit worked and how you would be under 24/7 care. I was shown the expressing room, where I would have to go and sit to pump breastmilk for you to be fed through a tube. Not the image I had for you to start your breastfeeding journey. I think I nodded along and tried to take the information in but it was a bit too much to process at once.

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